Frankly, I've Never Thought I Could Be That Weak

This is one of the hardest parts of my life. Life is not easy. Sometimes whenever we feel so happy because of something great happen in your life, there suddenly comes another bad thing that starts to break your happiness down. This thing is happening to me now. It starts to ruin my head.

Honestly, this is also one of the most important part of my life. I am pursuing my dreams. I got what I want, something that has been stay in my vision-board since some months ago. It became real! And I was so happy. I will go there, stay there, in the biggest city in my country for some weeks to live my dream. But suddenly………

Something very bad makes me feel sad. A conflict happens between my beloved ones. I love both of you, you know it. I never want to make you sad. I want you to be always happy. I want to make you proud of me. It is the only thing that I can do to make you smile happily forever. Seeing your children live their dream and get what they want. But at this time, I get many pressures from both of you. I don’t know which one I have to choose, his or hers. There’s something such a “fight-fire-with-fire conflict between you, and I don’t know how to do. I really don’t want to make one of you disappointed. Suddenly, I feel that my heart start to grieve.

Both of you never teach me to be a fragile one, but this part is really annoying me. Frankly, I never thought I could be that weak. But whenever it related to one or both of you, it feels like I have to fight to give you the best.

Actually this kind of conflict used to be happen when I was child. It makes me sad at that time. When they decide to divorce, my perfect life was changed. But those two great persons always have their own way to make everything okay. They teach us so many things. They teach us how to face every storm in this life, how to be a great girl, how to give my best to everyone around.

Now, I have an almost perfect life. I have been fighting for all that I have now since that time. And now, I have what people called as a happy-colorful-life. Let me say, I have kind-of-good in my academic side, I got many scholarship and awards, I have some sincere friends and charming prince, I live in a sweet home with my gorgeous-Mom ‘n My pretty-happy-sister, I have a wonderful Dad. I think that Allah always bless me.

Okay, this parts is just a process in pursuing my dreams. Give me some time to decide. Hope that I can give you the best.

Be strong. Life is tough. A great girl must be strong.